I managed to cram all our presents in the luggage we brought! This is BIG!

Sufficiently Conquered (btwn Josh and myself since we arrived): 4 two-inch-thick pork tenderloins immeasurable amounts of ham 1 piece of 3-inch-thick cheese cake 3 pieces of chocolate mousse pie (guess who that was -YUM!!) 2 bowls of chicken teriyaki from Tokyo Express (now called East Wind) immeasurable amounts of stuffing, salad, green bean casserole, fruit salad, banana bread, rolls, cheesy broccoli & rice, sparkling cider, and corbel champagne. 1 christmas eve service 1 viewing of The ...

The usual direct flight to Phoenix (pronounced puh-HOE-nix) is a mere four hours. This particular flight was not direct, and so it was expected to be longer. However, one rarely expects a @*#$&#*$ing BLIZZARD to occur when boarding the plane, which is already an hour late. Or having to sit on a completely jam-packed plane for another HOUR AND A HALF while Little Rock Airport crew ...

Mentioning to your in-laws that at age 50 the human retina begins to receive less light and things become a little dimmer (or that the cornea begins to yellow and colors change) will not go over well - especially when said in-laws are over age 50. Even more stupid is to say this before presents are handed out.

I am utterly and completely obsessed with Zero 7. And yes - I most definitely knew who they were before Garden State.

Grab the nearest book. Open it up to a page with the words "monkey nut sack" on it. Keep looking. Then whack yourself with the book. Report any pain experienced in a comment. Seriously, what fun stuff is on you guys' Christmas lists? I want a Japanese Santoku knife with granton edge (but you already knew that). So I can cut up my cat into paper-thin slices that don't stick to ...

Things I've been up to: 1. Designing an annual report 2. Designing another annual report 3. Both annual reports due by Christmas (eek!) 4. Christmas party/dirty santa ornament exchange. 5. Living with headphones on at work b/c people are loud. 6. Friend of mine promoted to management position. 7. Hoping he doesn't get a big head. 8. Wishing I had a Christmas tree; we don't b/c Josh cussed out the tree stand last ...