Grab the nearest book.
Open it up to a page with the words “monkey nut sack” on it.
Keep looking.
Then whack yourself with the book.
Report any pain experienced in a comment.

Seriously, what fun stuff is on you guys’ Christmas lists?
I want a Japanese Santoku knife with granton edge (but you already knew that). So I can cut up my cat into paper-thin slices that don’t stick to the blade.
Mmmm… cat.