Real Live Preacher is a site I have bookmarked and thoroughly enjoy reading. There’s something about this man making himself so transparent that makes you feel better about being human - being a sinner who wants to do right but is forever screwing it up. Today I skimmed through the previous posts and found this story about RLP’s relationship with his sixteen-year-old daughter. I forwarded the link to Josh, because he knows how much I’ve wanted a relationship like that. One where I wasn’t completely fearful of being punished?one where I could tell the difference between angry dad and happy dad. It’s something that has, at times, stunted my maturity and self esteem and caused me great pain. In fact, it’s probably something I’m still working through while I carve out my own family. Josh replied with what seemed like a pledge:

I will talk to my daughter. I’ll be a good dad, you’ll see.

My eyes teared up a bit. I know he’s going to be a great dad?I have no doubt of it. What I can’t get my brain around is how such a relationship would work, since I never experienced it. My father put a roof over my head and disciplined me. He paid for my college tuition. For that I am extremely grateful.

On Father’s Day, I called my dad. I said hi, and my usual 2 questions.

What’s going on? How’s work?

He asked me the same 2 questions.

How’s work? How’s Josh liking the Cowboys?

Then there was an awkward silence. We had nothing more in common. Then,

Well, you know me. I’m a man of few words.

Not long ago, I took a book off the shelf that has in between its pages, two letters dated August 15, 1998. One written by my mother and the other by my father. These are the parting words of wisdom I received on the day they dropped me off for college. In my father’s, at the very end, under tear stains from several different occasions, it says:

I know I haven’t told you as much as I should, but from the moment I watched your birth (girl, you were beautiful!) I have loved you with all of my heart. Please remember that we are here if you need anything. I love you, Dad