I work at a place that has long hallways. It takes a few minutes to walk from one end to the other. The entrance is at one end and our department is at the farthest most other. The walk by itself is fine I suppose. Annoying but I can see the necessity. But what happens when other people ruin it? One example is when you start off walking down the hall, and at the other end someone is walking in the opposite direction. The only time it works in your favor is if the person coming towards you is someone you genuinely like. You can start talking, and may stop when you cross each other and talk a bit longer. These occurrences are welcome.

But most likely the person walking in my direction is either someone I don’t know at all, someone I recognize yet still don’t know at all, someone I barely know at all, or someone I actually despise. The ten to twenty seconds between seeing their face and finally passing them can be hell. Strangers and the despised are treated in a likewise fashion, that being the curt nod and maybe the gruff ‘hey’ or ‘morning’.

One guy at my office, one who can be categorized as someone I barely know at all, somewhere in the past came to the belief that I was an Arkansas Razorbacks fan. If we see each other in the hall he will ask me what I think about whatever is going on with the Arkansas Razorbacks (football or basketball). I have never told him I know nothing about the Arkansas Razorbacks and that whenever he asks me these questions I lie and pretend to know what I’m talking about. It seems easier this way.

It’s sad, because if our relationship ever graduated from ‘barely knowing’ to ‘knowing’, I think we would be friends. Maybe even the stop and talk kind. But we’re not there yet. We’re still at the ‘lying for no reason other than simple convenience’ stage of our relationship. I’m an adult (I guess) and it seems that at this point in my life the odds of moving on from this level of friendship are becoming rarer and rarer as I get older and stubborner.

Walking towards someone walking in the opposite direction in the hall can be uncomfortable. But walking in the same direction as someone else can be really uncomfortable. Not really if you’re behind, but only when you’re in front.

Today I started walking toward the break room, which is located at the entrance end of the building. I noticed that someone I barely knew at all was about to make a trip in the same direction. I had a choice to either fall back and engage in small talk with this person, or do a curt nod and a gruff ‘hello’ and walk ahead of them cuz what the hell do we have to talk about anyway? Usually when faced with this situation, I create a third option and ditch them at the restroom, pretending that it was my chosen destination all along. I’ll wait for a second, maybe run some water on my hands, count to three, and exit the restroom and continue on my way. But today I couldn’t do that; we had just passed the restroom.

So I marched in awkward silence as my fellow marching non-companion followed. Does it always take this long to get to the break room? This is interminable! Do they think I’m rude? I’ve made a mistake. Maybe I can drop back now? No. I’ve gone too far. If I dropped back now and started some BS conversation, they would (correctly) assume that I felt guilty for walking ahead and the only reason I’m talking to them is because I felt guilty. No, I will march on. At least they’re not the type of person that decides this is a race and I’m going too slow. I absolutely hate those people. For some reason, they’re usually the same ones I despise. Those people slowly gain on me, then make their move on the left, and we’re parallel for a bit, saying nothing, then they’re ahead and I can stare at their backs, wondering what’s so damn important to be speedwalking to every damn place they go.

Today my trailer heads off down an intersecting hallway, and I contemplate how retarded I can be as I drink my 7up on the long trek back.