On the phone: Grandma: I just can't stand doing yard work when it's hot outside. The heat just gets me. I sweat like a ... well, we used to say, 'like a nig**r on election day.' Me: Um, Grandma? Now we say 'pig.' Maybe Grandma should attend this funeral.

The Suns' season has come to an end. Not that anybody that reads this cares at all. And to that I say you don't know me and you aren't my friend*. The lesson learned in all of this is nothing is fair. There is no karma in the world. Fairness and justice would reward the fan base of Phoenix. The Suns are ...

Today's Martha went something like this: Today we're making this lovely suede pocketbook! Now this material costs $50 per yard, and --(to off camera producer) how many pocketbooks can we get out of one yard? Two? Okay, so each bag is twenty.... twenty something a piece. Finally. Something Martha can't do! I guess she isn't smarter than a 5th grader.

I just love finding hilarious pictures on myspace of people I went to high school with. Take this one for instance: I'm pretty sure this is the guy who spat dip on my dress shoes right before graduation. And then didn't apologize. Someone please kill me before I make overalls the family uniform.

I almost gave up. The Suns were down by 11 in the fourth quarter. I was at the point where I had to mute the broadcast because I couldn't bear to hear the announcers giving praise to the seemingly unbeatable Spurs. I put on music, stuff that sounded kinda soothing (a guy called Benoit Pioulard), and settled into the recesses of the couch, trying to ...

Josh and I want to be in our own house so bad we can sometimes taste it in the air. You know, the type of air that, when breathed in, sends a message to your brain screaming, “Get out. Stop renting already! What are you afraid of, pansy?!” We’re really ready this time. Except, we’re not. Buying a house right now in Dallas would mean commitment. A big, fat ...

In the fall of 1989 my family moved to Phoenix, Arizona. I went to my first ever NBA and Suns game that 89-90 season at Veteran’s Memorial Colisseum, which was nicknamed ‘The Madhouse on McDowell’, being located on an avenue of the same name. My favorite player was KJ (Kevin Johnson), the Suns diminutive point guard. It was this year when I started to learn how to watch basketball, ...

If you're still mad about 2004 (or happy, for that matter), check out FundRace. It's a web site where you can see which of your neighbors donated money to the RNC, DNC, or specific candidates. In most cases you can see who they work for and their home address. It just might tell you something about your friends and the companies around you.