Yesterday I arrived at work at 7:15am. On a Thursday. Today is Friday, 2:24pm.

I am still here!

How did this happen? I don’t know! I thought I was on track to finish my end of week deadline show like normal. (By the way, normal is coming in at 6am on Friday mornings and scrambling to finish before having to be finished by noon)

I guess there were a couple of wild cards. My hard drive crashed on Wednesday morning. I had to edit a couple extra pieces myself this week. I knew some of this in advance. But then I had a DVD project to do for someone in sales, and wanted to get that done because it was kind of fun learning how to make interactive DVD menus.

Then the computer thing happened and I didn’t react quickly enough. We bought a new drive and set to the tedious task of cloning the old one. (It took about 37 hours) During this time I could still access my files over the network. Yet I half-assed it.

I didn’t want to work on a single CRT monitor in another work station. I’m neurotic enough as it is with my usual trappings.

Once the drive finished cloning it was already 8pm on Thursday night. I thought maybe I could quickly set to the tasks I needed to do and get out of here so I could make it back in the morning. But then I got the flashing folder screen on startup. So I did an archive and install for Mac OS 10.4. Now it booted up…but Final Cut wouldn’t open. I went online and looked up discussions on Apple’s support boards. “Trash the preferences” So I did, to no avail. Time to reload that software too. ‘Cept it wouldn’t let me because there wasn’t enough space and I didn’t have time, didn’t have time I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!”

It was now 11pm. I had stupidly crossed the point of no return without paying close enough attention. Even if everything went perfect from here on out, I would still be leaving at maybe 3am. Get home at 3:30 maybe? Sleep for 3 hours? Too risky. Anytime I try that my body will sleepwalk and turn off all the alarms without bothering to let me know. Plus who knows if I’ll be far enough along by 3am. As I started editing on the crappy CRT monitor in the corner I realized I had let too many roadblocks form in the edit. I didn’t have enough materials to time the show. First thing I try to do is give myself an accurate count of how long the show will run, then spice it up once the foundation is set. I had foolishly left too much foundation assembling for myself.

But now it was nearing midnight and it was time to call Heather and let her know the bad news. That I wouldn’t be coming home tonight.

The all-nighter. Always has sucked. 2 hours of work in daylight hours equals 5 hours in an all-nighter. The brain keeps screwing up and refusing to get with it. I WANT TO GO HOME! But no, I can’t quickly solve my handfull of problems. I start working on a solution, then find out I don’t have enough material (like as-yet captured video) and I stumble. I have to constantly take breaks. My mind is wandering. It’s 1:30 now. DO IT! FINISH! But there’s too much. I know it’s hours to go and the load is too much for me.

Somehow I hit some sort of groove. Then I feel a bit of satisfaction and stop for too long to bask in it. I forget where I’m at. It’s not coming to me. I’m angry and feeling depressed. I try reading some blogs but I read everything a long time ago. Now the late late night early early morning chills start happening. I go to the thermostat. I’m usually comfortable at 72 or 73. It reads 75. How can I be this freaking cold!? I need a jacket. (I need a blanket)

I’m not worried yet. Technically speaking I’m at a good pace. To finish by maybe 8am. Maybe finish at 8 and go home and sleep? No, I’ll have to come back. Oh crap! I’m missing items that someone else has and everyone in the world is asleep but me! I’m going to have to wait for them! Who am I kidding? I still won’t be finished.

I am the only person awake in the world and I can’t stop shivering. Close your eyes for just a second. No, you aren’t doing it by accident this time. I can fall asleep. Sleep for a little bit. Thirty minutes? Why not. If NOON is my deadline and it’s only SIX why not?

A co-worker comes by at 6:30 and says what’s up. I wake up (sorta) and say hi. He says he took his girlfriend to the airport and is going to crash here for a little bit because it’s too far to go home. Whatever. (I need to talk to him on a day when I’m awake and clear this up)

7:15am. You’ve been at work for 24 hours, Josh. I feel like an awful person.

I’m almost done, it’s 9 now, people are coming in. I’m excited now. No longer cold, second wave has definitely kicked in. It’s time to deliver. Productivity rising.

Still find myself staring at something for maybe ten seconds before I remember what I was doing or thinking. I know I need sleep but am surprisingly coherent.

Show is done, put to tape, delivered. Have to help on other shows. Fine, whatever. I have the job-well-done high going on. This can last me a while. One more thing to put to tape. Very simple. Just need a recording deck.

All being used. I don’t want to come in on the weekend again. Just want to do my thing and get out of here. Have to get out of here. High is fading. It’s 3pm. How many hours is that? I don’t dare do it in my head. Maybe pull up the calculator. No, I don’t care. I will write this instead.